考博作文批改范例四

考博作文批改范例： 4Gs#_|!  
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Fruit should be eaten or not? 2^w3xL"   
In this article, the author discusses the function of fruit and the reason that(改成用why来引导表示原因的定语从句)  Vitamins could not instead of（用动词词组，take place of…来代替，注意语法结构的完整）  fruit. Fruit are benefit（用形容词形式）  for health due to containing necessary miners which could not be formed, Vitamins which can prevent cell growing old and soluble fiber（这部分想表达的是？语义不明确）.  American（这里加上scientists作主语）  concluded earlier that fruit can prevent diseases. Some researches firmed that eating more fruit and vegetable can descend the incidence of stroke and heart disesea （拼写错误）. iSu7K&X9q  
Why do not oraling（这里是想表达？）  Vitamins instead of fruit? Some nutritionist explained that the Vitamins in natural plants play parts with other nutritions（用单数形式） . Moreover, it is probably that fruit and vegetable could contain some unknown active substances. v+uq  
In conclusion, fruit should be the major part of dairy diets of everyday life. For common person, to oral Vitamins could not instead of to eat （用动词词组take place of….） fruit and vegetable. In addition, eating much (too many,修饰可数名词) Vitamins can result in some side effects. For patients should supply to some Vitamins. [P.M>"c\  
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点评： ST$~l7p  
　　满分20分，可以得到9-10分 r/zuo6"5  
　　文章还是有一些问题的，主要体现在以下几个方面： I^"ouM9}Q  
　　内容上，这是一篇摘要，要归纳总结原文的重要信息，但是目前你的文章还是漏掉了一些原文的信息。还有一些内容表达的不够清楚，致使分数下降。 C'&)""3d  
　　语言方面，除了马虎造成的拼写错误，还有单词的用法需要注意，还有注意语法结构以及语言结构的完整，注意逻辑要通顺。 A>WMPe:sSS  
　　建议你把这个范文在认真看看，最起码考前把这些相关词的用法在温习一遍，考试的时候可以先用这些你比较有把握的词。 q1ybJii  
　　加油！ >B>[_8=f@  
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